Dear Pam,

Today, like most days over the last two years, I will come in to work and you will hate me, but I will not give way to hating and I will see your pain.

Whatever I do, whatever I say, you will interpret my words in the worst possible way and complain, bad-mouth, frequently attempt to discredit me in the eyes of other co-workers, to show me at my worst, but I resent you not and see your pain.

When you need any assistance or support, I will be there, and I will do a good job. You may even say thank you, you may not, but you will never reciprocate my efforts, preferring to resent me for being momentarily reliant on me. And if I dare ask you to do anything for me, you will resent me even more with the words, “It’s not my job,” but I see your pain.

When you share out the stationary with your favourites first, or I have to ask you for the key because you keep it in your draw, leaving me with the diminished options, I understand you discrimination and see your pain.

When you kick the radio plug under my desk and try to damage my radio, pretending it is because of clumsiness with the words, “Sorry, I didn’t see it there,” while we both know it is because you resent someone playing music you don’t like, I do not get angry, but will endeavour to see your pain.

If I make a small mistake in an email and you decide to CC everyone in the company along when your email to me, complaining about the mistake and trying to make me look incompetent, I understand because I see your pain.

On those many occasions you ask for my help, and it makes the difference in a positive way, I will remember that you don’t owe me, even though a small voice in my head says, “why should you bother? she will still hate you?” yet I will still help because I see your pain.

If the boss asks me, “how are you getting along with Pam?”

“Fine.”  We both know you are more difficult than the word 'fine' can relate, because I see your pain.

I give you my honest compassion, assistance, and advice when you condescend to consult me, but you give me your intrusive distain, ingratitude, disloyalty, ill-will, and selfishness, I don’t get small-minded and hurt by your hate, and above all this I see your pain.

When you feel offended, yet again, there is no communication to explain to me your inconvenience, instead you blank me, avoid me, and obfuscate my continual attempts to reason with you and explain I mean you no harm. I keep patient with your childish hate because I see you pain.

Whenever you want to make me uncomfortable in a thousand passive-aggressive ways, spreading your misery, so that I will share in the misery and hate you back, I see the pattern, don’t give way to a desire to be miserable and behind this angry front, I see your pain. 

If I walk up the stairs and hear you – yet again - bad-mouth, defame, and miss-represent me to ruin my standing in the eyes of whichever colleague you are complaining to, in your voice I hear your pain.

I have suffered enough pain in my life to see it in you and forgive you for your hate because I know it more a cry for help. I am sorry I cannot give you the emotional and psychological support you need, resorting to pity you.

God bless you Pam.