"Hello, Darren speaking." A muffled voice announced.

 

"Hi Darren."

 

"Is that… Harry?" enquired Darren, swallowing the last of the food that muffled his voice.

 

"Yeah. Is it ok to talk now?" asked a tentative Harry.

 

"...Yeah, no problem, now. Was just eating with the girls. But now's fine."

 

"It's been a while, actually, hasn't it?"

 

"Yeah, four or five years... or more!"

 

"Oh, at least five years actually.” Corrected Harry.

 

“How’s the car? That was a nice cheap run-around.”

 

“Oh yeah, you sold me that car. I sold it on, actually.”

 

“Yeah? You have a licence now as well?”

 

“Yeah, I’m legal now,” laughed Harry, “A decent little car. I’m on my second since then, actually.”

 

“What is it?”

 

“An Audi, two litre turbo. Only a few years old, fast and looks nice, actually.”

 

“Nice. Moving up in the world then?”

 

“Kind of, doing well, money wise and all that. So, how’s work?”

 

“Same old, same old, I suppose.”

 

“Same old faces?” asked Harry.

 

“Oh yeah,” agreed Darren, “People don’t leave here in hurry here. You know that.”

 

“That fat wanker, Pete, still there?”

 

“Ha ha, you’ll like this,” laughed Darren, “He’s in the nick!”

 

“What! For real?”

 

“Yeah, he was found with kiddy porn and doing two years now! Dirty little bastard!”

 

“Wow. Hope he gets rapped in there.”

 

“Yeah, you really hated him. Dirty old bastard. Be good if he is rapped in there. Police just turned up here, about a year ago, and took him strait to jail.!”

 

“Nice. Always knew there was something odd about him.”

 

“Well, to be fair, he seemed OK to me, but you hated him anyway.”

 

Silence descended as Harry pondered the news.

 

“So, are you running the place yet?” asked Harry, changing the subject.

 

“No, Richard won’t retire. You know that. Don’t want all that paperwork, anyway.”

 

“Bloody hell. Old Richard. He must be over seventy now.”

 

“Close to it,” laughed Darren, “The place wouldn’t be the same without him, though.”

 

“He can’t retire, too paranoid I expect!”

 

“Yeah, still paranoid about everyone,” agreed Darren, “They’ll have to carry him out in a coffin.”

 

“Hmmm,” mussed Harry in remembrance, “he inspected everything. Bloody nightmare.”

 

“Still inspects our vehicles when we return to the yard, top to bottom, just in case,” mocked Darren.

 

“A control-freak. That’s why they don’t want him to leave?” ventured Harry.

 

“Oh, to right mate!” agreed Darren, “He makes them a lot of money and keeps us all in check.”

 

A moment of awkward silence descended before Harry decided to get to the point.

 

“Well…” coughed Harry.

 

“…Yeah,” responded Darren expectantly, “so what’s on your mind?”

 

“Remember you said I could call you and chat?”

 

“I… I guess so,” Darren reluctantly agreed, unsure of the implications.

 

“Yeah, actually… You said I could talk to you about anything that we said, at the time, that I couldn’t talk to others about. You know, normies.”

 

After a brief pause, Darren offered, “Yeah, I think I kind of remember that conversation.”

 

“Well...” Harry started but stopped himself.

 

“…Were we drunk?”

 

“No Daz, but we were coming down from a pill or two though!”

 

“Oh, I get it. Makes sense now,” Darren said in a notably more relaxed tone.

 

“By the way, do you still do pills?” Harry tentatively asked.

 

“No way! The missus wouldn’t let me do anything…”

 

“…Wow. Fair enough…she’s a good woman…”

 

“…maybe a bit of weed every now and then, but I’ve got three kids now and she…”

 

“…Wow, three kids?”

 

“Bloody hell Harry, I had one and another on the way last time we spoke though.”

 

“Fair play, I lose sense of time, easily, actually.”

 

“So, what about you. Still do pills?”

 

“No, actually no pills, just a bit of weed, no more now, just messed me up a bit.”

 

“The pill?” inquired Darren.

 

“Yeah, actually, a lot.”

 

“You did drop a lot of them though. Sweating it off Monday mornings, remember?”

 

“Fair play, but so did you, actually, you were a pill monster.”

 

“Yeah, I loved it mate, great buzz. Still would if I could!” Darren laughed defiantly.

 

“She never was a fan.”

 

“No, you know how she feels about drugs, cos of her uncle though.”

 

“Yeah, I remember, actually,” concluded Harry, “he was a bit messed up.”

 

“Just a bit!” laughed Darren.

 

“…Yeah, so…” Harry began hesitantly.

 

“… What did you want to talk about? Get it off your chest mate” Darren stated in support.

 

“Yeah, It’s a funny one, actually.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“Yeah well, like I said, remember you said I could talk about anything?”

 

“Within reason,” stipulated Darren.

 

“Oh yeah, nothing mental, or completely mental, actually.”

 

“Yeah, no problem, I’ve seen it all anyway, so nothing’s too mental.”

 

“Good to know,” said Harry, relaxing his tone.

 

“No prob.”

 

“Remember we had a chat about conversations with people?”

 

“Oh yeah, I think I remember; conversations too odd for most people?” asked Darren.

 

“Yeah, kind of,” started Harry a little more reassured.

 

“Well?” encouraged Darren.

 

“So…” Harry slowly began, “… So, I have been having these conversations with people when they’re no longer in my life.”

 

“Oh, so are they real people?”

 

“Well, real people, actually, but when they’re not there anymore, if you know what I mean?”

 

“I think so,” Darren concluded in a confused tone.

 

“What I mean is talking to people and having full-blown conversations with people, ex-friends and that sort of thing.”

 

“But they aren’t there?”

 

“Yeah, you get it…”

 

“… So, you’ve been having conversations with people who were in your life, but no longer there?”

 

“Exactly!”

 

“OK?”

 

“Sound odd?”

 

“Yeah, to right, it sounds bloody odd,” laughed Darren in a mocking tone.

 

“I know,” Harry agreed, nervously, “I knew it sounded a bit…”

 

“…Don’t worry mate,” reassured Darren, “I have conversations with people when they’re not there as well.”

 

“Really?” a more relieved Harry asked.

 

“Yeah, I chat to my Nan, and she’s been dead six, well, almost six months!”

 

“Wow!” exclaimed Harry.

 

“Yeah, it’s a kind of comfort. She tells me things that calm me down…”

 

“…But” interrupted Harry, “the people I talk to didn’t like me!”

 

“Hmmm” pondered Darren.

 

“You see, they didn’t like me; Mike and Brandon.”

 

“Who?”

 

“The two people I worked with, until about a year ago, actually. I stopped working with them, yet I still have conversations as though we are still buddies and working together.”

 

“Hmmm” Darren said continuing to muse the point.

 

“We all liked each other for a while, but in the end, they hated me, and every day at work became a depressing hell. I hated them as well, in the end, actually.”

 

“Sad to hear it.”

 

“Yeah, I realised what a selfish person Mike was and began to resent him - and Brandon is related to him - so I got paranoid about what they might be saying behind my back.”

 

“Odd, really.”

 

“Exactly!” Proclaimed Harry, “Mike didn’t really like me to begin with and I knew it deep down.”

 

“And yet you have long conversations with them after they are out of your life...?”

 

“…Yeah, actually very long, as though they are still in my life. We discuss things and I get to correct conversations we had in the past. Explaining myself so to speak, actually.”

 

“Not sure what to say, really,” offered Darren.

 

“It’s like we have the same kind of conversations, again and again, but this time they understand me, and we become friends. Well, get along better, at least. Or I show them the impression that…”

 

Harry stopped while Darren concluded, “…Not sure if I can help. Maybe a professional can help.”

 

“Oddly enough,” started Harry, ignoring Darren’s last point, “I’m beginning to see something.”

 

“Really? Because I…”

 

“… Yeah,” continued Harry, “I still value their opinion of me. I still want to make an impression.”

 

“Really?” Darren asked, with a bemused tone.

 

“I suppose the question is, why do I still value their opinion. Actually?”

 

“I… I suppose,” mussed Darren, still notably confused.

 

“Wow. It’s like the truth was finally revealed to me halfway to explaining it to you!”

 

“What’s that…?”

 

“…Yeah. I still value their opinion of me because I still want to impress them. See what I mean?”

 

“Nah, not really Harry…”

 

“Oh yeah,” Continued Harry, “I still want to impress them, like I did when we first met, but I didn’t impress them, but something in me wanted to.”

 

“Oh…”

 

“…But I didn’t impress them. Yet in my mind I find a way to impress them by reliving conversations and then in those – imaginary conversations – I explain everything and give the impression I wanted to give all along. Get it?”

 

“Not really Harry.”

 

“That doesn’t matter because I get it… now I get it!”

 

“Oh?”

 

“Yeah. I still want to impress them. I have come to terms with the need in me to impress them and let it go, so to speak.”

 

“If you say so Harry,” laughed Darren, still unsure.

 

“Look Darren, thanks for the chat.”

 

“Ahh… Any time mate, not sure what I did…”

 

“…You listened without judgment…”

 

“…Not sure about that, but…”

 

“…Well, you listened, and I worked it out. Hopefully I can start to work out why I still covert the opinion of such people.”

 

“Hopefully,” Darren reluctantly agreed.

 

“Well, I think I better let you get back to your girls.”

 

“Any time Harry. Pleased I could help, even if I’m not sure what I did.”

 

“Oh, by the way…”

 

“…Yeah?”

 

“Oh…” Harry hesitated, before concluding, “…Nothing, it’s fine.”

 

“Sure?” Darren reluctantly offered.

 

“Yeah, it’s fine. Take care Darren and all the best to your family.”

 

“Cheers mate. Look after yourself.”

 

“Will do. Bye Darren.”