Stream of unconsciousness

 

After several months of wishful thinking, today was finally the day Charlotte has prepared everything for. The spare room had been waiting for this very moment and could now be put to use as Charlotte started her mediation practice today. The kids are occupied with a suitable bribe not to interrupt her for at least 20 minutes, while the flute music has started in the background and the forest scented sticks are burning. Charlotte sits down in a crossed legs position and places her hands on her knees, facing upwards, takes a long breath and closes her eyes.

Breath in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out…

This is nice, I feel calm now, just a car passing and it won’t be long. Was that one of the kids…? No, it’s just something else that doesn’t matter…. The swami said so… Just don’t think.... Oh no, I’m thinking. Let this thought go and breath.

Breath in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out…

That’s better, staying calm and relaxing... That’s what the man said, just concentrate on the breathing.... Am I forcing it or is it happening…? Can’t be sure… Feels odd, maybe I am forcing it... What’s that at the door? Just the cat... Please go away and stop that scratching… Oh yes, just think of the breathing.

Breath in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in…

This is better, no thinking about anything, or just thinking at all... He didn’t think when he dropped it… Idiot… Am I thinking about thinking…? Oh, I am.

Breath in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in…

He said it… I hope your man appreciates you... What a thing to say... He said it with a wink... James used to wink like that… On the harbour… Hope that wasn’t nerves, but a show of confidence... Did she notice…? Not sure. It doesn’t matter and if she did, then… Oh, I’m thinking...!

Breath in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in…