‘Cheap room in family home, with Juliet balcony for a single person.’ For Rav, it was close to work and would do while he waited for an opening somewhere else.

“As long as it’s clean and dry, I can stay six months, no more.”

Yet, Rav’s high standards of cleanliness were going to be challenged.

“It’ll help build character,” he mused with a suspicion he might get what little he paid for.  

The outside looked dirty and when the door opened, Rav stood back in repulsion, as two large beings tried to open the door together and now filled the doorway.

When the obese mother and son unfilled the front and regained a fake composure, Rav was guided through discarded obstacles that littered the damp narrow hallway.

“I’m Claire,” huffed the first, on the way to the living room.

“I’m John,” the second, not as large, twirled round, holding his thumbs in the air, then catching up with his mother.

“I’m Rav,” smiled Rav; now aware they were desperate for a lodger.

“A nice family home,” grunted Clair then collapsed in a well-worn hollow of the coach.

Rav thought of the savings to stop the nagging doubt he felt in the warm, musty living room, where the family were now nestled within piles of rotting rubbish and glued to the TV.

“You can hang out here in the evening, if you have to,” sighed Claire.

The obese son’s frown told Rav the truth.

“Oh… I’ll be busy upstairs…,” Rav nodded, “…but thanks.”

Perching on the cleanest part of a multi-stained sofa, Rav was introduced to the father’s wide smile. Rob was half the width of Claire, disarmingly friendly, while suffering whatever Claire insisted upon with a pacifying smile.

On another small patch of cleanliness, perched the slim, pretty, daughter, who shared an embarrassed smile with Rav. She was the least of Rav’s problems, was close to her father, lived quietly at the top of the house and beginning the painfully confusing process of getting away from the household with her fiancé.

“I suppose you’d like something to drink…?” Claire reluctantly sighed, slightly moving her large frame in equally-reluctant anticipation.  

“…No… thank you,” Rav smiled, watching her sink back.

“Well, will you have the room?” John suddenly asked, but his smile worried Rav.

“I haven’t seen the room,” Rav smiled awkwardly.

“He hasn’t even seen it, yet!” chided Clair.

“Maybe we should show you the room?” Rob beamed and starting walking out.  

“I’ll stay here,” the daughter muttered, watching the muted TV that filled the far wall.

Mother and Son tutted, before cumbersomely following Rav, who decided now was the time to explain more about his lack of funds. A visibly irritated Claire puffed behind as Rav explained he was unable to pay the deposit until the end of the month, when he got paid.

“If it’s OK, I can pay the deposit a week before I move in?” Rav pondered.

“No problem,” smiled Rob, already on the landing to great Rav.

Rob turned to Claire’s disapproving glare, finally arriving up the last heavy steps.

 Rav’s fears they were desperate to get a lodger were true, despite Claire’s huffs and puffs, having gone several months without. Rav was relieved to see the room wasn’t full of much rubbish, but Rav knew how to give a room a good cleaning.

“We’ve hoovered it, as well, for you!” wheezed a still recovering Claire.  

“Is the internet OK up here?” Rav inquired, trying to open the small window for fresh air.

“Well enough,” Claire snapped, “…is everything ok with the room then?” Claire impatiently forced.

“Sure,” agreed Rav, now aware Claire had anger management issues.

Of course, Rav thought the place was a dump yet was still convinced he was able to live with them because this was a good opportunity for his spiritual soul as well as his wallet.