Charlotte has prepared everything, having turned the spare room in to the quiet room some weeks earlier. Here, she can start her mediation practice and a today is the first day. The kids are occupied with a DVD animation and bribed not to interrupt her for at least 20 minutes, while the flute music has started in the background and the forest scented sticks are burning. Charlotte sits down in a crossed legs position and places her hand on her knees, facing upwards, takes a long breath and closes her eyes.

Breath in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out…

This is nice, I feel calm now, just a car passing and it won’t be long. Was that one of the kids? No, it’s just something else that doesn’t matter. Just don’t think. Oh no, I’m thinking. Let this thought go and breath.

Breath in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out…

That’s better, staying calm and relaxing. That’s what the man said, just concentrate on the breathing. Am I forcing it or is it happening? Can’t be sure. Feels odd, maybe I am forcing it. What’s that at the door? Just the cat. Please go away and stop that scratching. Oh yes, just think of the breathing.

Breath in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in…

This is better, no thinking about anything, or just thinking at all. Am I thinking about thinking? Oh, I am.

Breath in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in…

“I hope your man appreciates you.” What a thing to say. He said it with a wink. Hope that wasn’t nerves, but a show of confidence. Did she notice? Not sure. It doesn’t matter and if she did, then… Oh, I’m thinking...!

Breath in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in…

“Are you married?” odd question to start with, but he looked odd. I could tell he was alone. Poor man. I was only being nice to him; first day in a yoga class and talking to anyone. I think there must be more lonely men than women. Some women are lonely but desperate, before hitting the wall. I look good still, if I’m getting those comments. That dog has started barking. Oh, I’m thinking again!

Breath in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in…

When will that dog stop barking? Surly it’s bloody annoying even for the owner. Some people don’t bother to think of the neighbours. Just selfish. Graham was selfish with that cake. He knew it was to be shared but cut a large slice all the same. He knew we were to polite to… Oh, no, stop thinking.

Breath in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in…

Good leaving party though. Thirty years she’s been there. Wonder what the new one will be like. No one knows the finance CRM like Jane. I could learn it. They don’t want someone to learn it. Maybe I won’t go for it. Maybe I need qualifications, but I… Oh, bugger, stop thinking.

Breath in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in…

Are they making noise, which one? At least the dog’s stopped. She was over thirteen, a good dog. We should get another. But he doesn’t want to. He said I get too emotional about dogs. Maybe he needs time. Maybe a cat? No, not a cat. That remind me of what’s her name. She has that walk. Feline walk, or something they say. She fancies Bill. It’s so obvious. He pretends not to see it. They all see it and pretend they don’t. Men are so simple. They just… Oh, how long have I been thinking?

Breath in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in…

This is good. It must be five minutes by now, perhaps more. My legs feel stiff. Don’t look. I have to just concentrate on breathing. God, my legs feel stiff. Oh, I’m doing it again.

Breath in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in…

That’s good. I can sense the calm. I felt it just then. Like a dream. What did I dream last night? Like I was there, but, where was I? I remembered when I went to the toilet. I think I need a wee now. Do I? Oh, no, I’m bloody thinking!

Breath in…

Dammed legs are so bloody stiff. Should I check? No, don’t. It must be at least five minutes now. Ok, quickly, because my legs are feeling stiff and sore. No bloody way, it’s only 3:56. Flipping so and so. Stop thinking!

Breath in, breathing out, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in…

Maybe I do need the loo. No! You can hold it in for five minutes. It is at least four mins now, surely. Legs feel a bit better. Perhaps 4:20 by now? That’s just a little over five and a half. Dam it! I did it again.

Breath in, breathing out, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in…

What did he mean, “See you after lunch?” I thought the appointment was for midday. Maybe he has early lunch, or maybe… I should check the time, just to be… But that woman warned me that every thought coming in to my head would seem important. It can wait until I’ve done this. I can remember. Yes, I should be able to. I can’t remember. Yes, I can. I can try to remember. Dam it, I’m thinking!

Breath in, breathing out, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in…

Just put the piece of paper somewhere you can see it. No, I won’t remember. I know what I’m like. I did it then and that’s what happened. Why are my legs aching? No, I have to get up.

Breath in, breathing out, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in, breathing out, breathing in…

“After Lunch.” He must have meant the appointment was after 1PM, maybe? I’ve got to check. Just a quick check. But I left the form in the cupboard. The kids will be disrupted. But I might forget. Oh bugger. I’ll do twenty minutes tomorrow. After all, this is just the first session and my legs have to get used to be contorted. That remind me of that guy at the circus. That was some act. How did that guy squeeze in to that box? Training, over many years, like me, that’s what I’ll do, training over many years and get better at it. What was that? Was that one of the kids?

Charlotte awkwardly got to her feet and checked the phone. It read 4:56. She rubbed her aching and somewhat numb legs, and was sure she could go longer tomorrow.