In a small bedsit, a small man sits on his bed with a can of larger in one hand and a remote in the other, “Well Boys, we gotta win this one tonight!” With the flick of the remote, the TV bursts in to life, filling the tiny room with the voice of the commentator of the football match. “Welcome to all those just tuning in to this Super Thursday FA Cup Quarter-final replay between Liverpool and Blackburn Rovers!”

Suddenly the game is interrupted by the mobile phone ringing, startling the recipient.

“Yes!”

A woman asks, “Hello. Is that Tim?”

“Yes” Tim blurts in confirmation.

“Good. It’s Rachel here from the agency... Can we talk?”

Tim turns the TV down, “What’s up?”

Detecting his apprehension Rachel replies, “Don’t worry Tim, all is fine. I just want to make sure you’re ready for your new opportunity on Monday!”

Reassured, Tim replies, “Yes! I’ll be there six thirty am. NO prob!”

“Good. Well if there’s anything you need let me know, or if there are -but there shouldn’t be- any problems that might get in the way then please call. OK!”

“Am I still being paid more? Sorry to ask I just...”

“…Tim, you’ll be an extra twenty-six pounds thirty-seven pence better off, before you take in to account overtime, if you’re asking.” She pauses for effect, but continues, “And you’re one of our best workers at this agency, so we’ll look after you.”

“Thanks for all you’ve done. I’ll work hard!”

“So Monday six thirty at the morgue then!”

“Yes!” declares Tim, but soon Tim becomes engrossed and more agitated at the football match. Tim blurs out random instructions to the players, stares at players he is annoyed with and turns to nobody on his left, “He’s being pulled out of position, He’s no good there!”Then preceding a reply that wasn’t going to come, Tim continues, “You’re the technical coach, why can’t he just be professional and stay in bloody POSITION?”

Suddenly there’re is a load burst of 45,000 thousand fans cheering a GOAL! Liverpool go ahead 1-0. Tim ecstatically jumps around, spilling some of his can, “Oh No!” After some order has returned, Tim is settled watching, then there is a shock, Blackburn equalise and while Tim is watching the replay of the Blackburn goal Tim slumps to his chair and starts to rant to nobody on his left.

 

The match is still drawing to a close when there is a final attack by the Blackburn team, who score and win the game. The TV is shut down with one angry flick and the room in silent, but Tim is angry and sits in confused silence for a moment.

“Right. Get the boys in the dressing room..! I want a fucking word!” If you didn’t know Tim was talking to himself you would for that moment believe he had the power to summon the team to his chambers.  

“Usually I don’t like to get involved with the team, but what the Fuck is going on..? Tim plays out the fantasy of the club owner, who berates the team, staff, head coach, anyone he fantasises about paying. This rant goes on until he is tiered, and dismisses them all. Then he takes off just enough clothes to be ready for bed and crawls under the damp bed clothes.

When his mobile turns to 06:00am, the peaceful silence of the musky room is shattered with a vibrating dance on the small table beside the camper bed. With loud, begrudging sniffles, Tim slowly turns over to look at the sealing. His eyes laboriously squint through the red blotchy contorted face, still suffering the alcoholic effects of the night before. After a noisy crescendo of coughing and wheezing he finally relents and leans back to catch his breath.

Tim drags his slouching abdomen out of bed, shuffles across to a small hand basin in the corner and fills the sink full of water while sneering at himself in the mirror. Then dipping his head down in the sink, he splashes his face erratically, using enough of the excess water to style his matted hair.  This is the only care and attention he shows himself before removing his jeans and sweat shirt from the only chair in the room in front of the TV and getting dressed and grabbing his keys and mobile he leaves his bedsit in darkness and calm at 06:15am.

Tim goes about the last day, as any other in the warehouse, picking orders for delivery. It is with one of these completed orders that Tim returns to the packing bench to prep for delivery, when he is aware the large imposing frame of Raymond – the warehouse supervisor - bounding towards him.

“All right Tim?”

“Yeah! Just fine! Finished all the picking in the tray!” Tim Proudly gestures towards the empty picking note tray, but Raymond knocks his arm down while talking in to his walky-talky, “Ross!”

“Yes Mate!”

Raymond gives a dismissive wave of his arm, “Leave that for someone else!” he says before returning to the walky-talky, “Can we send someone over to the packing bench to finish off an order that Tim was in the process of doing? I just need to finalise his exit interview and all that crap!” Raymond tilts his head and holds the walky-talky closer to his ear. After becoming conscious of Tim leaning against the bench with arms folded, Raymond seems agitated, “What’s the fucking point? Might as well send a fucking pigeon!” After a moments delay, the response crackles through the airwaves, “Yes. Will do mate!”

“Yeah! Piss off.” Raymond lets the walky-talky slip through his hand, partially guiding its well warn path back in the holster, “Right lad!” Directing his imposing eyes over the upper rim of his glasses “Let’s have a chat!” Hesitantly Tim leaves the unfinished work and hurriedly follows the quick, confident pace of Raymond to the Supervisors office, where at the door Raymond guides Tim in with an arm with an air of ceremony. Tim squeezes his way between Raymond’s large frame and the single panelled door frame and enters an office last decorated in the 1980s.

Pictures of Raymond with other men in fishing-gear, golfing-gear, sporting and bow-tie events, jostle for space with charts, maps and certificates relating to academic progression in the field of warehouse management. Raymond shows Tim to the seat, switches off his walky-talky and eases in to his large leather swivel-chair behind the desk, “Want some privacy. If you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, peace and quiet,” offers Tim.

Raymond smiles and pulls himself closer, ponders for a second then sighs loudly, taking his glasses off to rub his nose.

“Tim. We’re gonna do an exit interview, which I’ll fill out while you carry on talking...” Raymond peers at Tim over his replaced spectacles, “OK?”

“OK. Yeah. Right!”

“I know it’s a pain in the ass but I have to ask you some silly questions.” Raymond looks at the questionnaire asking, “What’s the most rewarding part of your time with the company?” Tim looks non-plussed by the question. The delay irritates Raymond, “See what I mean? Crap like that. Tell you what, you just sign it!” Taking the opportunity to show his loyalty Tim moves forward, uttering, “I trust you to write the right thing.”

A relieved Raymond receives the form back shoves it to the side and gestures, “Apart from that crap out of the way Tim. I’d like to take the opportunity...” Raymond interrupts himself, “Rare as that actually is!” And he continues after a lament, “...To thank you Tim, for all you’ve done for us.”

“Yeah, well, it’s all right, I quite liked the work!”

Raymond nods, “Yes Tim, you liked the work, and an example to the rest, in terms of time-keeping, attendance and so on...”

“Thanks to you and thanks to the company, I suppose.”

Raymond smiles, seeming genuinely effected, he looks away.  “Some people don’t deserve to stay full-time, but they started before I arrived... Sorry about that Tim...  And as I say you can’t kick the idle out. You gotta hope the slimy bastards slip ...” Raymonds stops himself then sighs, “You see Tim. I’ve been in this business...” A sudden knock at the door startles both of them.

Raymond bellows, “If it aint urgent, it can wait!”

Tim stutters, “It can wait, all right!” while he looks passively at the door. Tim’s response gets a disapproving shake of the head from Raymond, who demands “Well. What is it?” From the door there’s a inaudible mumble, so Raymond again bellows, “Well, what the fuck do ya want?” adding “What’s wrong with some people?”

Tim adds, “All right!”

Raymond shakes his head. Tim stares up at the imposing figure of this short-tempered erratic boss, who fills the room with his irritations and now his anger. Raymond thumps his fist on the desk, setting the stationary a dance and demanding, “Don’t make me come to the door..! Don’t make me come to the door..!” He moves a bit closer to the door but directs his attention down to Tim, “Stop laughing Tim!” Tim looks as serious as he can, unaware he laughed, but then Raymond asserts, “Oh I get it! You’re laughing at that idiot on the other side.” pointing to the door in frustration. Finally there is an unsure voice, “Everything is ready boss!”

After a disparaging look at the door Raymond calmly re-adjust his position in his chair, “As I was saying, some forty years..!”

“Sorry Sir, What were you saying ..?

Raymond continues, but stare at Tim without emotion, “Some forty years back! I was just a lad and let me tell you this Tim...” After a pause Raymond finishes the statement “There is no one...!” again a pause “No one!” He repeats “No one!”

Tim joins in, “No one...all right!”

“All right!” Raymond then continues, “A long time in this business and you’re the best worker I’ve ever had!”

Tim bows his head in awkward reverence, “Just doing my job. Come in every day and do my job!”

“No! Tim! You’re not a peace of crap hat don’t mean nothing. You’re a good lad and for what it’s worth, I always got a soft spot for you!” Raymond catches Tim’s eye. “I mean what I said Tim!”

Tim smiles, “Can I ask If it doesn’t work out at..?”

“…Say no more!” Raymond demands as he struggles round the desk and pulls Tim up from his chair. “Say No more friend!” Raymond pulls Tim closer, “I’ll take you back!” Both hug for a moment, shake hands. “Let’s get a cuppa tea in the canteen!” Tim smiles in glee as they start the walk from out the office, “Don’t mind if I go and have a fag first?” Expecting to gain approval Tim starts to wonder outside, rather than to the canteen with Raymond, who wastes no time in correcting Tim, “No... Have a cuppa first!”

On the Way, teen again asks if he can have a cigarette first, but Raymond starts to look agitated, “Just... come with me to the canteen, Yeah?” Raymond puts an arm round Tim and pushes him on. Tim notices there are no lights on in the quiet canteen so tries to pull back.

With one simple lunge Raymond pulls Tim in front, “Just get inside the fucking room!” and pushes Tim in to the dark. “Now let’s have some light!” Raymond pronounces as the lights flicker in to life and voices shouts, “SUPRISE!” Poppers are sent off in the wave of enthusiasm, while others throw bunting and confetti over everyone and the music in the background starts up.

Most of the 32 people in the company are squeezed in a small canteen. A table in the centre is a table with spread with gifts rapped up, two large packs of his favourite larger, a huge pouch of tobacco as well as a rather large cake with the red collars of Liverpool football club.

“Turn that music down a bit!” Asks Raymond and he turns to the group and starts his sing along, “For he’s a jolly good fellow... For he’s a Jolly good fellow... For he’s a jolly good fellow...ll... And so say all of us!” Everyone joins in and sings along, surround Tim with all the presents and friendship, which truly overwhelms him.

“You can’t take all that on the bus. I’ll drive you home,” Declared the sales supervisor, Noel. He had not spoken to Tim, other than about orders and Tim thought he didn’t like him. While they are driving, Noel notices Tim observing him, so looks over, “You’re gonna be missed, but you know that right.”

“Thanks for all you did ... and said!”

“Listen Tim... Hang-on!” Noel concentrates on manoeuvring the car out of the busy tee-junction, with clear frustration, he starts edging out, then has to roll back and wait, then starts to move out again, only to have to roll back and this starts to visibly drain whatever patients Noel might possess. Taking a perceived opportunity Noel moves the car forward and they jolts out of the road, just missing an oncoming car that slams on the horn in anger as it speeds through the gap.

Noel winds the window down, “Fuck you!” Turning back to Tim he asks, “What a jerk, yeah?”

“Recon he is, all right! You’re a good driver!”

“You think?” A surprised Noel responds.

“Yeah! It was tight, that gap, all right.”

“Yeah. Bit tight, want it?” Not waiting for a response Noel continues, “Listen Tim. Half the people at work hate each other and the other half just want to hear gossip about anyone. Just a piece of gossip. They love that kind of shit!” Noel avoids a swerving car and continues, “People want to trip you up and see you fall!”

Tim smiles in silence, unsure what Noel is talking about. Sometime later, Noel carries on, “What matters is I get the money needed to move from the house and start a new life with my new girlfriend and new friends. None of whom I knew only a few years ago!”

“None?” Tim disbelieving enquires.

“None!” Noel adds as he looks back, adding, “None of them I knew, just when i got off the drugs I started to live my life again and noticed a whole big world out there Tim!” Enthused, Tim remarks, “Sounds great!”

“Not a single one I knew and now I have a life with real friends, not just pub acquaintances.”

“yeah, pub acquaintances.”

“I started again from scratch three years ago. I lost a wife and two kids for the sake of another dose of drugs. Another hit.” Tim nods his head.

“Just one more hit!”

“One more hit.”

“Yeah, just one last hit!”

Tim slowly asks, “You..?”

“Come on Tim say what you’re thinking. Don’t hold back. By the way is it left here or...?” Tim looks right and points left.

They arrive at Tim’s bed sit and Tim starts to talk, “thanks for everything you’ve...”

“…Enough time for all that crap when we get inside!”

Tim looks concerned, “Oh... thought you’d have things to do or something...”

“…No. I’m all right Tim lad!”

Tim tries a new direction, “I gotta get some shit done, so I can’t really invite you in...”

Noel relents, “All right Tim. I get it. I’ll help you with your stuff.” Tim relaxes, opens the door with the two crates of larger and steps inside, but Noel has already moved inside the front hall with him.

Tim turns to Noel, “I’ll take it from here.”

“No Tim. I’ll carry them to your room first, now where is it?” Tim starts to sweat and both walk upstairs to the door and again Tim starts, “I’ll take...”

Again, Noel interrupts, “All right. I’ll just pop them down inside the door for you Tim... Come on open up.” Tim turns the key in the lock and the door slowly swings open, Tim turns as soon as he has crossed the threshold and places the crates down, then turns and to his horror, Noel is wandering round the room looking intently at the private world Tim wants nobody to see. Paralysed with fear, yet trying to act as natural as he can, “Want a cuppa?”

Noel studies the large posters of Liverpool football club players spread amongst the walls replying, “No thanks!” Tim sits down, still observing the direction of Noels’ gaze, who moves at a slow pace, looking at the large damp patch, rubbish strewn on the floor, the poorly fixed torn flimsy curtain.

“Do you want any other drink?”

“You’re not suggesting I go back on the road with a can of that crap in me?”

“No! Oh no…” Tim laughs, still watching Noel scanning the room.  Noel moves from the bed to the chair after whipping it Noel looks out the window, “Do you ever let the light in here?”

“Don’t really bother with it.”

“You need fresh air Tim!” After waiting for Tim to make contact with his own serious gaze he lazily precedes by patting the edge of the small bed with his stretch out hand, “Listen Tim. I’m gonna tell you something.”

 

Noel takes a deep breath, “I’ve been here before Tim!” “Where?” asks Tim.

“Let me guess, coin meter for the electric?” Tim nods sullenly in agreement.  

“When we pulled up earlier, the last thing you wanted was for me to come in and see all this

Tim mumbles, “Mmm.”

“But why?” But before he can get an answer Noel proceeds, “I’ll tell ya why!... Because this place. This miserable place is what you think of yourself!”

Tim looks pained and looks down, “I know you got a reputation, but is that what you really think ?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh,” surmises Tim.

Noel offers a prolonged sigh, “Private and public life’s always different. Sometime our private life is better than the public one, but always the two are different!” Noel adds, “This place is your private life and the way you treat the place says a lot about what you think of yourself. You see!?”

“I guess.”

“Do you know what I mean or not?” Noel suddenly demanded.

Provoked by the change in tone, Tim asks,  “You mean, cos I treat this place like a dump...”

“Yes...”

“I think I am a dump?”

Noel stares silently at Tim, “Yeah, something like that.”

“Maybe the place is just a stepping stone...”

“Bollocks Tim. I know you can’t believe that. When, after moving from bedsit to bedsit to crummy bedsit did you ever find something better?”

Tim sits up sullenly, “I know it aint good!” Noel waits for more. “I sometimes ...” Tim pauses in embarrassment, “I sometimes wish I’d got someone!”

“Why? How old are you then?”

After a thought, Tim stutters, “Forty-six first...”

“Did you ever have someone?” asks Noel.

“I can’t remember her name!”

“A former girlfriend?” Noel asks, slightly surprised.

“We were close.” Tim pauses to remember, then adds, “A real couple, know what I mean?”

“Good days, were they then?”

Tim’s eyes began to glaze over with affection, “She made me smile. Could cook as well and clean! A real nice girl!”

Noel chuckles, “But you can’t remember her name?” Unaware of the Joke, Tim continues, “No. I can’t remember her name, but she was someone...”

“But you don’t remember her name?” After no reply, noel asks, “How long ago was this?”

“Nineteen eighty-seven was the last time we were together, I think.”

“But you can’t remember her name?”

Tim snaps, “NO. Let it go about the name!”

“Easy tiger! No one needs to die, just simmer down.” Noel stops to think briefly as Tim lowers his head aimlessly stares forward. Noel probes, “you must have something around here with her name on...”

“Nothing. Landlord took it”

 “when?”

“About thirteen years ago now.”

Noel allows his head to fall from his wrists and sags back on the chair, “I’m getting the picture Tim! It all went wrong some years later... you’ve lost all that you once had of her cos the landlord of the last place took it!” Noel slouches back in defeat again adding, “What can I say Tim?”

After a pause Tim starts, “I know I sound crazy, but I can’t forget her... She must have been the one...”

“…The one my arse!” Noel interrupts, then stands and walks over to the window.

“She was,” insists Tim.

“She was the only one who you had any fucking relationship with.” Noel pulls the curtains half way open and watches as the woodlice run for cover on the corner of the wooden window frame. “What’s become of this girl now, all these years later?” Noel turn his head at Tim who shrugs his shoulders to gesture a lack of knowledge.

Noel looks back at the woodlice, fewer in number, “If you cared a dam, you’d hope she would be happily married.”

“I guess.”

“But you don’t.”

“I do.”

“Hopefully she’s got some kids and they’re all happy, doing well at school... and all that crap!” Tim is still fixed on Noel as he continues, “Because it won’t matter a dam anyway!”

If she really cared for you, she’d want the same. But you’re living like you’re stuck in Nineteen eighty-seven!” Tim doesn’t look hurt by this and nods in a placid agreement. That’s years and years ago Tim!” Noel adds with increased exasperation. Tim starts to rub his eyes that are by now filling with liquid so bowing his head, he covers his eyes with clenched fists. Noel instinctively sits by Tim, “You silly bugger, come here!” Calmly Noel places his arm round Tims shoulder and pulls him closer while with the other hand he pulls out a napkin and offers it to Tim.

“Look, today you had a wonderful send off. With load of presents and well wishes!” He pauses to think and continues, “Cos they were all meant for another Tim. There was a mix up!” Tim forces a slight laugh as Noel continues by gesturing his free hand to the gifts, “They’re all for you!”

“Suppose so.”

“Yes Tim, people fucking liked you.” Noel pulls Tim closer for effect and looking back at the window elaborates, “You’re always on time. Work hard and do as you’re told, put up with abuse.”

Tim laughs, “That right?”

“Never take a day off. Never bitch about other…”

“Apart from you,” jokes Tim.

“Yes, apart from me! Of course!”

“Too bloody right”

“You never get involved in office politics or...” Noel stops himself, then asks, “You remember when Toni retired last month?” Tim nods in agreement. “And remember the going away doo?” Tim shakes his head.

“No. That’s right, there wasn’t one to remember, all he got was a signed card and a box of £2.99 chocolates from the corner shop!” Tim offers an amused snigger as Noel continues, “The party we had for you was your party, everyone was invited, everyone turned up!” Noel proudly continues, “From the top to the bottom all people who worked in that building came down to say good bye to you, cos you’re a good bloke!” Noel allowed the statement to be digested then adding, “I could go on about it all day long, but the point here is you’re liked by others and you don’t even know it, because you need to like yourself more and try for better!” Tim nods his head.

Noel stands up with a comforting tone, “I’ve been here before!” Smiling at Tim reassuringly “but this time I’m gonna help as best I can! I’ll help you Tim if you want to help yourself! But only if you want to help…” Noel Pause before the final word, “...Yourself!”

Tim looks up at Noel and laughs “Don’t know where to start!” Noel stops himself from jumping in, which Tim picks up on, “I mean giving up drink. Going clean and all...”

“…First of all, you say you don’t know where to start, but I do! Secondly, no one said anything about giving up drink!” “Really?”

Noel Laughs, “Of course! What’s life if you can’t have a few pleasures?”

“True...” Tim adds.

“No one said anything about going cold turkey. I promise you, people who have an obsession with drink, when they give up drink will find a new obsession. Why? I’ll tell you why cos they’re obsessive people. People don’t abuse drink or drugs. They’re still obsessive people so they move on to gambling or something else.” Noel awaits a nod of understanding from Tim, “It’s all about moderation. Yes, have the odd drink, but get your shit done first. Finnish your paperwork and then have a nice glass of wine or can of whatever crap you wanna drink!”

“So how much is ok?”

“Simple... Don’t drink till all that shit’s done. Got it?”

“Yeah.” Tim answers as he warms his hands.

“As for all this crap about that woman, sorry to sound so blunt, but my sister runs a small dating agency in town. You know the one?”

Tim sheepish acknowledges, “all right!”

“I really did take too many drugs!”

Tim agrees, “Made your brain go all fucked up!”

Noel plays an imaginary guitar, “To quote Ozzy Osborne, ‘We started out as a rock band playing with drugs and we ended up as a bunch of druggies playing around with rock music!” Tim laughs, “Yeah, that’s Ozzy!”

Noel yawns and waits a moment, “None of those matters. It just proves you spend too long thinking about what really doesn’t matter!” Noel pause, “I used to take a drug that kept me around people all the time. Kidding myself these idiots were my friends and you sat at home pretending you were the manager of your footy team and reliving memories of a girl you can’t remember! Drunk, of course. That’s why you drink like you do, to block out reality -which is shit- and stay in a world of make believe.”

Noel watches Tim and consoles him, “I’ve been there for six years. I lived like that only instead of alcohol it was coke!” Noel opens his arms to the room, “And this little room is all we need to live that hand to bloody mouth Tim! Hand to bloody mouth!”

“True,” confirms Tim.

“Then you get used to it and after a while it’s the only life you know.”

Tim nods enthusiastically, “You’ve hit the nail on the watsit?” “Head. But you get the motions every evening thinking the same thoughts, living the same memory. And soon it’s all you know, you forget the real reason you miss the girl in the first case!”

“Well? What is the real reason?”

“Because we don’t want to be lonely! Human beings can’t be lonely for too long. They go mad.”

“Hmm,” says Tim, looking round.

Noel continues, “Look at me now. Ok, I concede, I’m not a millionaire yet. And not the best-looking man in the world...” “No you’re not!” Tim shouts briefly.

“But now I got a nice home, nice car, nice woman, Job, etc…” After pausing Noel continues “You’re only a few years older than me!”

“shit, you’re right”

Noel takes a look at his watch announcing, “We’re gonna sort things out. The more you put in your life, the more you get back, so I’m gonna get in touch with my sister and get you on a few social events.”

Tim smile, “Sounds all right!”

Noel turns to the window, “It sounds fine. Like most things in life, we take small steps at a time. Just have a more active social life and other things start to fall in to place.”

“And you’d help me do that?” Tim enquires.

“As long as I know you are trying, I’ll do what it takes to get you back on your feet.” Tim stands up slowly while he observes Noel walking to the door, “Then I’ll pop round next week and we’ll have a look at your CV and sort some better work out for you.”

“I don’t know what...”

Noel interrupts Tim while pulling him close again, “Just do something to help yourself and I’ll be there for you.”

Tim stutters, “If you really can.”

“Yes” Noel states “If you try, we’ll make things better! It aint easy Tim but now you’ve got a friend to help!”

Noel slowly pulls back and hands Tim a napkin, “That’s the second one now Tim! I aint a fucking charity!”

Tim chuckles, “You’re all right!”

Noel hands his business card to Tim, “Call me whenever. All right Punk!” Noel punches Tim on the arm quite hard and Tim falls back on his bed laughing at the shock of the hit, “You bastard, why do you have to hit?”

Noel laughs back, “Why indeed Tim… It’s getting dark Tim.”

Tim looks to the window and Noel stretch out his arms, “Come on you. Give us a hug. You soft idiot!” With this Tim gives Noel a hug and they stand for a moment until Noel breaks away “I’ll see myself out. Don’t get to drunk before we do the CV ok?”

“Ok...”

Full of happiness, Tim rubs his hands in glee and walks over to the window while standing on tip toes he undoes the latch and lets some fresh air in. He pulls the curtains completely open and with a satisfied sigh heads for the chair, where he positions himself with a smile on his face as he rolls up a cigarette.

Tim fumbles in his pocket and pulls out Noels’ business card, then offers a deep sigh. Tim looks back at his cards and gifts and smiles he shouts, “Put out a press release, telling them there’s no truth in the rumours of me leaving the club...” Tim hesitates and then adds, “... Despite last night’s result.” After lighting up his cigarette, he turns the flame on the card watches it burn, “Too late for me Noel.”